A Long Time In The Making
I was annoyed when the top stopped spinning. Why did it stop and fall over. It just didn't make sense and quite frankly it drove me to tears. I've learned a lot since I was three years old, but there are still many things in this world that bring me to tears ... and wouldn't you know, most of them seem to involve that old villain homo sapiens sapiens, that over ambitious crazy ape that wants to dominate the universe.
Moving on ... There's a lot that you can do in a life-time. There might even be enough time to repeat some mistakes. Been there, done that. Ah, life lessons, some really do kick like a mule.
But, what is a lifetime? For some living things it may be no more than a handful of days. For us it might be thousands of days (35K days if you make it to 85yo) or even a millenia for the occasional rare old tree (assumes some braindead twit doesn't cut it down to count the rings - that would indeed be funny if it wasn't true).
Point to note, is that nothing is guaranteed ... not even waking up tomorrow. Impermanence! Just ask the Buddha, he had quite a bit to say about it (or at least, others did on his behalf )
So - from that place moving forward is no different to going up, down, sideways or backward. It's all the same. Really!
A happy diversion while the universe ticks over and we distract ourselves with our 'oh so meaningful' endeavours (or not). Everything you ever needed to know lurks patiently in that still place where your racing mind is silent ... waiting.
But the clock does tick (in most universes), and the sand in the hourglass does empty [it doesn't run out as such, 'cause you can tip over again, you know what I mean ... unless of course the hourglass is actually a black hole, in which case all bets are off].
Tranquility. It's not a bad place. Perhaps a little too quiet for some, but if you've already been adequately pumelled by life, it can be quite healing.
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Many times I've said to people: "you really need a web site" (I should probably add, 'trust me I'm a nerd'), only to get the reply: "na, I have facebook and (insert list of various trending social media platforms here)".
Okay, hmm ... really?
I had a facebook page too, but hardly ever used it and FB automatically switched the page off if I don't update it every 6 months. I used to have a page on about.me that I updated quite regularly, with quite a lot of connections (well, for me), until they shut the free web site down.
But this 'my' web site, will be here for as long as someone keeps paying the domain name and server fees. And I can update it, or maybe not
If you are an artist/musician and you don't have you're own web site ... who's silly?
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Many of my favourite bands and musicians have already retired (and many even expired) after careers spanning many decades. Some of the (often talented) musicians that I used to jam with, gave music away a long time ago and don't even play an instrument any more. I've never stopped playing, I just had a career doing other things like illustration and Graphic Design. Now, my focus is once again on my music.
If nothing else, it should be a lot of fun!
As a musician I've never cared for being contemporary or bleeding edge. I've never bothered with trying to 'sound' or 'play' like someone else. I have always worked on the premise that if I'm going to go to the trouble and effort of writing and recording music, then it might as well be original ... or what's the point?
That's not to say that I haven't been influenced by other musicians. The list of musos and bands that I admire is a very long one. Fortunately my situation allows me to do what I want in whatever way I want. If it turns out that there is an audience that likes what I do ... great ... if not, that's just fine too. I'm a recluse, I can handle being my own audience ... I'm already my harshest critic
What To Expect?
Planned recordings currently include new material as well as revisiting some old tunes that were first penned way back (some as long ago as 1979). Many of these ancient tracks were only ever crudely recorded as two or three part, Four Track demos (then roughly mixed down to stereo). So it will be interesting to see how they shape up decades later, after some revisions and being freshly recorded and mixed on a 24 track digital recorder. Tests so far have certainly put a smile on my dial.
You can have a listen to a track or three on SoundCloud.
For the most part the material will be instrumental. Some songs do have vocals but I haven't decided at this stage whether I will be doing the singing or making use of more talented vocalists. The style is perhaps a little hard to nail down. I'm guessing it would be considered as Progressive Rock with occasional forays into Fusion, with quite a few Acoustic Guitar tunes thrown in for good measure.
There is no 'time-line' for anything at present. Aside from health issues, I'm still working through getting all of the varied technologies to function in unison to provide the result I'm after. However, preliminary recordings have begun, so there is music in the pipes.
After recently creating a new tune that I decided to call Quantum Mechanic (largely because it involved ridiculous amounts of fussing over minute details) .... I decided that Quantum Mechanic allegorically describes my approach to many things. And importantly, the 'name' hadn't already been snaffled by every man and his dog (of course that has since changed). It also fits in well with my technocrat tendencies ... I still design, build and/or modify some of my own gear when the mood takes me or just out of necessity. You can see where some of that is going on my Home Music Recording Studio - Recording Music Off The Grid web pages.
Qm - 160809
Updated: Qm - 221216
Or ... A recluse by any other name ...
There are many people in the world who think of themselves as being a recluse, or at least 'reclusive' in nature. The reality is, that for most this is not actually the case.
Sure, anyone can get to a place in life every so often where they've had an elegent sufficiency of life's annoyances and dramas ... and simply want to get away from it all for a while. Some people make the 'getting away fom it' happen on a regular basis and their lives may well be much the better for having done so.
However, it is completely the norm for humans to seek (and even need) the company of others, and perhaps once in a while seek to avoid the same.
A true recluse on the other hand is someone who might comfortably live in complete isolation and truly apart from society. This isn't an aberration / disease like 'social anxiety disorder' or 'agoraphobia'. It is a simple and sane choice. Some might simply call it, personal energy management.
The word 'recluse' derives from the Latin recludere, which means "shut up" or "sequester" (and I'm sure there have been plenty of occasions where people have wished I would 'shut up'). Described as, 'A person who withdraws from the world to live in seclusion and often in solitude.' Note that the solitude appears to be optional, go figure.
Not unlike the monks of old who would head off into the wilderness to spend extended periods alone on a mountain side to meditate. Some of us need more solitude than the present world of Homo Sapiens Sapiens normally allows.
This can make being a recluse a, well let's say, interesting challenge.
So, how do I know that I'm a recluse. Probably because I have always been that way, indeed, since childhood. For me, it's a perfectly normal, comfortable and happy space.
Rolling on ...
The previous incarnation of this very page saw me living on a mountain ridge overlooking the Huon River, with the Hartz Mountains as a backdrop. Like so many cool things, that was not destined to last.
The happy home scenario ended in mid 2014 with a sextuple bypass, moving house and a divorce (in that order), all within less than six months. My world view (and particularly my view of human relationships) has subsequently once more been modified or maybe just refined.
Perhaps it was a good thing to get it all out of the way in one fell swoop. It sure didn't feel like it at the time though.